I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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