why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
