I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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