i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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