so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Randomize
