A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
