arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
