fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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