he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
