oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
