what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
