I must be too annoying 4 u.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
