Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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