this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize