why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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