you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
