dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize