Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
