I hate all girls vehemently.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize