i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
