I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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