as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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