And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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