do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
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