After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
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