you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize