everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
