lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
