i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
