Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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