Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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