I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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