I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
