worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
