Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
