i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Randomize
