How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Its about making memories worth repressing
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
