I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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