Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Randomize
