Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
