How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
