Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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