god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
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