She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
