i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
