Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
