I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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