I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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