I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
