Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
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