fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
