Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
