i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
