I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
there's paper in my vomit.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just high enough for therapy.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
