I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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