I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
