I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
