Soap is not a condiment
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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