Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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