Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize