White coat. Heels.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
