I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
