Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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