Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
