I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize