you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I just had sex on a roof
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
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