i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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