So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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