Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
