Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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